Each day I sleep with the guilt of not making my day productive but the next day I waste it again. I am getting depressed now. What should I do?
Ever since I joined Engineering, Each day, every day for the past 6 years I woke up with the goal to “Own my Day” and ended it with Guilt!
I have been here and I know how it feels. It sucks. You lose confidence in yourself and it isn’t a good feeling to have.
I finally broke free of this barrier after I took a 30-day break from work. Being the founder of a company, a 30-day break was a big decision.
If I couldn’t respect my mind and body, how could I ever create something that can add or create value?
I went home. I was with my parents, experiencing the warmth of love in the purest possible form.
I would help mom cut vegetables, and be amazed at her speed and accuracy with the veggies.
I would barter for a massage with dad. He’d massage my head to save the last strands of hair and I’d massage his feet and back.
I ate amazing food every day. I wish I appreciated home-made food more when I was in school.
I biked across my native village, aimlessly wandering through the streets observing, admiring and smiling.
I took a picture of something that made me happy.
I made some ridiculous drawings.
During those 30 days, I learned to not be too hard on myself. I learned to love myself more and prioritize my mental and physical well-being.
It’s 36 days since I came back to Bangalore as a better version of myself.
I do not follow a very rigid routine to match my productivity yet. I do have days when
- I’d wake up late
- I’d miss exercising
- I’d reach office later than I am supposed to
- I’d miss eating healthy
But I learned not to be too hard on myself. If I break a rule, it’s fine. It shouldn’t affect the next thing in the queue.
I started leaving the office early rather than staying up late. I reach the office by 0930 and I am back by 08 pm.
I started giving more time to myself. I realized if I can’t love myself, how can I possibly love anything else I do? How can I love someone else, if I don’t love and respect ME?
It’s okay to have days when you end up doing nothing at all. It’s okay to break a rule. It’s okay.
Just don’t lose trust in you.
Originally published on Quora — https://www.quora.com/profile/Shashank-Shekhar-221
